Wednesday, December 1, 2010

admitting defeat

Remember how I was sewing along with Jill to make a gorgeous heirloom advent calendar?

Well, today is the day to start using said calendar, and I have a panel with pockets on it and four (yes, I said four) ornaments that don't even have loops to hang on the non-existent tree with cute little buttons all over it.  Hmmm.  That's not going to work.

I stress myself out about things like this, especially since I specifically mentioned the project as a motivational tool to keep myself on track.

So, one of my constant, life-long resolutions is to recognize when I'm in over my head and just let something go without letting it stress me out or make me feel guilty.

Here we go: deep cleansing breath, realize that the calendar can be next year's project, eat a cookie.

There.  I feel better.  Don't you?

And now I'm going to let you delve deeper into my psychological issues . . . isn't this fun?!

One of the reasons I have a hard time letting things go is because I have a need for people to like me, and I don't want to be perceived as lazy.  So, when it comes time to let something go, I wonder, "If I just kicked my body into a higher gear and stayed up late for the next few days, couldn't I still get it all done?"  Then, I only let things go when I realize that there aren't enough hours in the day.

Well, this time, I have an outside motivating factor: I have developed a parasite.  A life-sucking, energy draining, nauseating parasite.  I've had this parasite now for about five months, and it is expected to make its arrival late-March or early-April.

That's right, I'm pregnant, and exhausted all. the. time. 

That means that my body is constantly in that higher gear (busy growing a whole person,) even when I'm sitting on the couch eating pumpkin pie and watching The Polar Express with my kids.  There is no energy left over for staying up late and finishing up a project for now.  I can barely keep the little clothes clean that my troublemakers require to keep from freezing to death during this winter, let alone make tiny clothes for felt snowman ornaments!

The up side of this development is that I will soon be making tiny clothes in which a new little person will come home from the hospital--a set for a boy and a set for a girl because this little baby will be a surprise!


Vivian said...

YAY! Little baby! It took me two years to make my advent calender, and I blame it on the same thing! We really are sisters, aren't we?

Lani said...

I LOVE that you can admit when you're in over your head... I have a hard time with that sometimes... okay a LOT of the time! (thus why I only have two children... and can't even imagine having more than 3, let alone the 5 you'll have!)
I don't think there's a person who has met you who would ever accuse you of being lazy, seriously you're amazing!

Life's a Dance said...

Ha! I would like you even if you were lazy - which you definitely aren't! Besides, thinking about something is creative - so think about the advent until next year - it totally counts!!